Sigh. I’m getting sick of shit again. I feel like I’m in an internal struggle about what I’m doing in this group. Sometimes I feel like I’m actually getting something out of it, but more than often I feel like it’s a waste of my time. This time I was set off Wednesday when someone said that they always get compliments about how welcoming the people are and that’s what makes people come back.

HA. I hate how hypercritical they are. The only people I ever felt welcomed by from the beginning were pretty much the girls I went to high school with. Yes okay so some people would behave nicely to me at events and stuff and say things like “we should get coffee” but did that ever happen? nope. never. no real effort. right so welcoming. 

And then I feel used, like they want me to use like my film/photography/graphicy knowledge to help them but nope no acknowledgement for me. But they’ll point out other people’s time and effort but not mine, like I’m just supposed to put all this time and effort into it for nothing. And I’m not someone who has to be like recognized for every little thing that I do for someone but if you’re going to go out and thank a list of people and just leave someone out thats not right.

I don’t even know what makes me keep going back… I think it’s that it allows me to see a couple of good friends because otherwise I would just be a socially awkward recluse. But whatever I should actually make time to see her outside of this just so I don’t have to share her with others and see people who I want to just avoid.

Anywhoo, off to Zumba :) 

So my entire office has now downloaded and are using the myfitnesspal app. I mean I’ve already had it, but have fallen off the horse since…. November (eek) on failing to use it. 

I’m just so inspired to be around three other lovely ladies who are also trying to get fit :) We’re encouraging each other so much and I’m really just so thankful for this great environment. We also now are doing office stretches (like squats, wall sits, etc.) twice a day and are planning on doing a Thursday night Zumba class together as well. 

Yay so excited and motivated!

Don’t let yourself get carried away. 

Don’t overthink anything that happens.

Summer is different, even you don’t stay in constant contact with everyone you want to. 

Don’t worry that he’s not texting you all the time. 

This is still nothing, sure think about what could be but always think that none of it will happen.

Expect less.

lexieatshealthy:

You are a soul. You are a mind. You are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails, but you aren’t fingernails, are you? You have hair, but you aren’t hair, are you? You have fat, but you are not fat. You are beautiful.

(via healthy-sexy-happy)